I tried to look innocent when she walked into the room.
“Why are you looking at that thing!” She sighed and looked at me as
though I was truly pathetic. “What?” I said. The look of guilt on my face must have registered volumes because she was truly unconvinced with my Sterling Defense….
“You spend more time now with Sabrina then you do with me!” she said as she pouted.
“Oh come on Honey! You know I love you best!” I said meekly.
“Turn her off or I’m throwing her across the room!” And I had no choice but to comply.
You see…Sabrina is my Droid.
It is all too common to see this with technology and us Men. It seems that when it comes to the question of paying attention to two separate events that are going on simultaneously, one always ends up winning. It’s a zero sum game for wives and girlfriends as the Male Animal is incapable of doing two things at once; hence the vague threats of smartphone jettison from a perturbed girlfriend.
However there are salient ways of assuaging her anger and actually fulfilling the promise of a harmonius co-existence between you and a technophobic girlfriend or wife. These are just a few ways to help so that she won’t think you are cut off from the world in a manner not unlike this….
- Download games that She likes - That’s the beauty of the Android market…All those free games that are easily installed and uninstalled. I found that my lady didn’t like “Throw A Panda” or “Whack-A-Mole” but liked Paper Toss with a vehement love that was quite shocking to me. This is especially helpful on a long ride back on the subway after a romantic date. Hand your lady the phone and say, “Would you like to play a game?”. She’ll be engrossed in no time.
- Use other killer apps to enhance your date – I can’t tell you how many times Yelp has saved my life. Need to find the best Thai in the neighborhood you are in? Post-haste cause she’s got a yen for it right here and right now? Well just whip out the map function on the Yelp app on your Droid and search for it right in your area. Real easy and both you and your phone end up looking like the cool female equivalent of ‘Master Blaster’ from”Beyond Thunderdome”. (What can I say…I am still a nerd.)
- You Tube new and interesting content after finding them on Pandora – This is the easiest thing to do if she’s a music fiend. Listen to a custom-made station on Pandora featuring a band that she loves. Then when new music comes up that is similar to the band that she likes but you don’t recognize it , send her a YouTube link with a video or live performance from that new band. Don’t be a know-it-all about it but if you tell her, “Hey, I found a band that sounds just like The Pus Budgets!” She will be quite impressed…although she won’t initially show it…That is, if she’s a fan of a band with a name like The Pus Budgets. (If she’s not then you might need a new girlfriend).
So now that domestic bliss has been restored you might find an ’operative issue’ in that you will not be able to get your phone back. This can be an issue when you have to check your work Email and your girlfriend is currently smashing all your hard won records on the aforementioned (and supremely addictive) Paper Toss game…speaking of which…..I really wish she’d get off that damn thing, I mean Sabrina, I mean…
Well you get the idea.
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